Happy Birthday

'Tis true. 

Girlie turned one. 

Each first birthday has been bittersweet for me. 

In a way I feel like I am finally coming up for air and reclaiming my sanity, 

and yet a piece of me grieves how fleeting those baby moments actually were. 

I look back on the first few months of having her home in our arms ~ those months that absolutely wrecked me ~ and I see them as almost sacred. A gift. A sliver of hope and beauty in the midst of hardship. 

(Sorry to be vague. It was a tough year of illness for me that I haven't opened up about here. Maybe one day. )

I'm forever thankful for the grace that was given for me to truly relish and enjoy her and all her baby goodness. But not to say that it's over ~ I want to freeze time now. Eight months to two years is my favorite. 

I could kiss, hug, and squish her for days. 

She just crawled into my lap and said, "wow" to herself on the screen. 

Yes baby, wow. 

She is very aware of all that is going on around her and is quite able to communicate about it all. And if it happens to get boring (which you would think would be rare around here....) she is quick to look at the door, raise and wave a hand and say, "es go!" (let's go!). I sometimes wonder if she will always be one to make things happen. 

I'm still "da da",  as well as her brothers and daddy himself (whom she loves). 

"aaaaahhhhhh der" (water), "nana" (banana), "cado" (avocado), and "tado" (sweet potato) are also words that we hear often. A fast shake of one hand means "more". Or actually, FEED. ME. NOW. 

She came into the world at 6 lbs. 13 oz. and quickly grew to the 60-90th percentiles, but now has decided to be a little one and settle into the 10-20's (18 lbs, 10 oz). 

She has the tiniest, cutest feet ever. 

Though she has no clue that she is smaller than her brothers. She is always right in the middle of everything they are doing, and will not tolerate being told that she can't play with them. Thankfully they are (most of the time) obliging and kind. If she's too much, Charlie will take it upon himself to take her by the feet and drag her away.

She is friendly and eager to say "hi" and wave to others ~ as long as I am holding her. Like her middle brother she is very slow to warm up to new people or a crowd. We know her scream even from the sanctuary at church (have I mentioned how high it is? painfully piercing). She is no fan of the nursery.

We celebrated her birthday with a bigger and more "styled" party than I usually plan, but she asked for it :)  More on that in the next post.